Working for a living

The first time I realized the impact of my actions on other people, after I calmed down from a period of being basically hysterical, sitting in my bathtub crying for I don’t know how long, one thought went through my brain: “I need to work!!!” I immediately got a job stocking shelves at a groceryContinue reading “Working for a living”

The Effects of Trauma

For me, this was the effect of a very traumatic childhood and some events that happened when I was about twenty or twenty-one. Over the years, I have had a lot of therapy, and not a lot of it was that helpful-and the majority of that is on me. When you’re not even being honestContinue reading “The Effects of Trauma”


Above all else, be honest. It starts with being honest with yourself. You cannot be honest with someone else without being honest with yourself. Otherwise, everything you say and do is the fruit of a poisonous tree. Recovering from a factitious disorder involves getting honest with yourself and with another person about issues and experiencesContinue reading “Honesty”

Healthcare costs

Healthcare gets expensive. And public assistance footed the bill for my disorder for a lot of years-people with factitious disorders cost the healthcare system untold amounts of money every year-no question. And the reimbursements for public assistance is far lower than private insurances. This is the reason many providers have stopped accepting Medicare. The reimbursementContinue reading “Healthcare costs”

The little boy who cried wolf

This old wive’s tale doesn’t need to be retold. When you’ve cried wolf, consciously or unconscously, over and over again, once you’ve decided to start getting well, though you haven’t had an episode in some time, though the people you are dealing with are new-once they know, they are not prepared to take anything youContinue reading “The little boy who cried wolf”

Be Careful what you wish for…

I remember sitting across from a psychiatrist my mother used to work with in, of all places, a mental health clinic she worked in, and he looked at me and said, “Be careful what you wish for.” Bipolar disorder (and in junior high, ADHD, but I was never medicated) was one of the first thingsContinue reading “Be Careful what you wish for…”


One of the things I am focusing on is what can be done for factitious disorders. This disorder is typically seen as not being amendable to treatment. Granted, the co-morbid personality disorders that usually accompany FD’s, some really are not. Of the three main ones seen in FD’s, they are Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), NarcissisticContinue reading “Treatment”

Stigma and self-harm

There is a huge stigma associated with mental illness. Of living with a diagnosis such as borderline personality disorder. There are a lot of misperceptions. We have riots and demonstrations when the “n-word” is used and rightfully so. The term is offensive to me and abusive to the recipient. It is the terminology of hate.Continue reading “Stigma and self-harm”

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