Honesty

Above all else, be honest.

It starts with being honest with yourself. You cannot be honest with someone else without being honest with yourself. Otherwise, everything you say and do is the fruit of a poisonous tree. Recovering from a factitious disorder involves getting honest with yourself and with another person about issues and experiences that are never easy to be honest about. Once you have, the rest will come easy.

For me, lying was like breathing-it also did not stop overnight. I tried many things to catch myself being dishonest. I even tried fining myself a quarter every time I caught myself in a lie-even a little one. What I got was a jar full of quarters. It was doing my nightly inventory (see below) that helped the most. You ask God for forgiveness and move on.

“When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept to ourselves something which should have been shared with another at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of others, what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift worry, remorse, or morbid self reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review, we ask God’s forgiveness, and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 86).

Lying about everything will cause you to lose everything. And you will have no one to blame but yourself. And will have amends to make as a result. Trust and honesty go hand in hand and are the foundations of a healthy relationship. And once you have lost someone’s trust, know that you may never fully regain it. Trust, honesty and respect go hand in hand.

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